aidan really loves animals.

so i go to check on aidan and i walk into his room & see this:

he apparently fell asleep while sniffing (??) a toy bird












So, I go to move him because he was laying all awkward, and realize he stuffed about 20+ Little People animals into his pants.  again.

 I had to take his pants off in order to get them all out.  photo evidence here:

TMI

so, tonight at work i had a woman that wanted to sign up for a Rewards card...

 

Me: "ok, can i please have your e-mail address"

Woman: (gets quiet) "ok...i'm embarrassed....its alwaysnaughty@______.com"

Me: (chuckled) "ok....first name?"

Woman: "my husband created it for me...maybe i should start giving my work email instead."

yea, might be a good idea lady!

soggy nugget.

so, i just had a half-eaten, water logged chicken nugget hit me in the arm. Thrown by none other than Mr. Luke.

It then ricocheted off my arm , left its mark on our glass table, and landed with a slimy thump on the floor. I look over at Luke and he looks pretty guilty to me:

axe.

so i've never been a fan of "Axe" deodorant body spray. Years ago, when my brother & I lived together, he would use an entire can everyday before he left for work and I'd be stuck breathing it in for the next 8 hours as it slowly dissipated. Fast forward 7 years and one day i am awoken with burning lungs because of a smell that seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Well, it was Axe. It struck again. My husband Vince uses it and every so often I am woken up by a smell slamming me in the face like a ton of bricks. I might rather get hit with a ton of bricks, the jury is still out on that one. So this morning as Vince went to the bathroom I asked him if he could please not use the spray. He declined. I asked, "Can you at least spray it on you out on the front porch?" (i thought this was a reasonable request) Vince: (ha!) "No!!! you spray your vanilla crap and that bothers me" Me: "Well, at least shut the bathroom door after you spray yourself!" Its funny because back in 2005 when we were first dating, he bugged me about what I was wearing because he loved the smell. Who doesn't love the smell of freshly baked vanilla cupcakes? because that's what my body spray (Victoria's Secret Vanilla Lace) smells like! Its great. And its non aerosol so it doesn't burn the lungs. He's crazy talking. He likes it, he just doesn't want to admit it because his spray smells like something a horny college kid would spray on himself before he goes to a Frat party.

And his Axe is called "music"....i don't get it. it also has "VIP access" printed on the bottle. VIP access to where? some hoochie mama's pants? It makes no sense. I wish I could add a smell to my blog, but I can't. So, until then, just pictures.

Don't let your husband buy this stuff, unless you like not being able to breathe clearly.

so today, bright and early, my 5 year old & i had this conversation:

Aidan: "my penis is wrong"
Me: "umm, what? your penis is wrong?"
Aidan: "yea, my penis is not fixed."
Me: "ok....well, fix it?"
Aidan (pulls pants down), adjusts, and laughs.

i bet very soon i'll have one of those bumper stickers that says, "my kid is smarter than your honor student"

lazy.

so, i've been super lazy & haven't updated my blog in about 4 months. Lame sauce. My friend Khristy totally called me out on this. I will try to get more stories & pictures on here...plus, with The Islander opening in less than a month, all the freaks who have been cooped up in their weirdo caves all winter will be coming out very soon. I can't wait. That and the fact that my 5 year old, Aidan, says some of the craziest stuff. Just a couple weeks ago he said "I smell air." Can't really argue with him now, can ya?


Stay tuned.....

my quest to talk to "trollman"

So, for about a year now I've been seeing "trollman" around the Hamilton Mall area (if you pay attention to what I do on Facebook, you know this already) but I've never actually talked to him. Well, all that changed last week on October 28th.